In 1953, George was talking to his girlfriend on the phone.

The phone was black, and it hung on the kitchen wall next to the refrigerator. 

He was sitting on a wooden chair that was leaning against the wall, on two legs, talking teenage stuff. 

George boldly said, "My Mom is so mean."

He did not know that his mom was listening.

She came into the kitchen. She kicked the chair, and they both came tumbling down.

With a dumbfounded look, he told his girlfriend, “Gotta go now!” 

He quickly stood up. 

With a contorted face, he asked his Mom, “What did you do that for?”

“I don’t want you lying to your girlfriend.”

“WHAT?”

“You said that I was a mean Mom. I just wanted to let Sally know it was a true statement.”

He meekly lowered his head and pleaded, "Mom, I was just joking."

"Oh. You call that a joke?"

He shrugged his shoulders and stood there looking down at the floor.

"Look at me!" his mom said, "Go to your room and learn how to be funny."

Mr. Thompson, my fifth-grade teacher, had a line of students waiting to ask questions.

I remember standing in line, with my eyes fixed on the part of the book where I was confused.

I was forming the question in my mind, and when it was my turn to ask, I started with the word ‘Mom,’ instead of Mr. Thompson.

I remember the boys in the class who started laughing.

Mr. Thompson said firmly, “He is thinking of his Mom.”

The laughter stopped.

Mr. Thompson answered my question, and I returned to my desk.

Some of the guys were still snickering, and I gave them that look we understood as fifth-graders.

“I’m gonna pound you next recess, I promise!”  

After reviewing my medical file, he asked about my elevated cholesterol levels.

I told him that it is coming down because I stopped eating meat three months ago.

Looking away from his computer screen and directly at me, I continued.

I told him that I found out that I'm allergic to meat, and stopped eating meat.

He squinted his eyes and quietly said, "I have never heard of that one before."

I remained silent.

Six months later, on my next visit, I told the doctor, "I found out that I am allergic to French Fries and not meat.

He just looked at me and said, "I'll submit a request for another cholesterol test."

Lesson Learned:

Before blurting out random thoughts, I need to stop and think before my lips start moving.

I was talking to my supervisor in his office when two of my workmates entered.

They were displeased with another co-worker and needed to inform the Boss.

When they were certain the Boss was going to act, they waddled out of the office and back to their desks.

He looked at me, and I could not resist adding my two cents.

"You got the easiest job in the office, just listen to them."

An hour later, they invaded my cubicle, yapping away.

One said, "HEY YOU! DOGGIE DO-DO."

And the other started barking, "If you know what's good for you, learn to keep your mouth shut."

Off they strutted down the hall like two little puppies at the park on a Saturday afternoon.